I don't know if I have an abnormally high sex drive or not but it seems my boyfriend is never in the mood to have sex. We have been dating for three years and have been having sex for the last two and a half years. Neither of us have been with anybody else. We used to have sex all of the time .... but since september he constantly says he is not in the mood and never wants to have sex. When he turned me down today I got upset and went and counted the condoms in the box and realized that we have only had sex eight times since september. We have messed around other ways and I will take care of him but he doesnt want to take care of me. I would say we have done that probably ten times since september.

He is 28 and I am 23. Is it our age that makes us want sex a different amount? Should he have this low of a sex drive? I have put on about 40 pounds in the last two years could that be the problem? He used to be so giving why is he being so selfish now? Is it because I have a hard time orgasming? I am so confused and frustrated I dont know what to do? I have tried to talk to him about it but he says nothing is wrong and he is just never in the mood. HELP!!!

Hold on and wait a minute! Girl you have got to slow down! I am also a girl who is in a relationship with an older man. He is 30 and I am 21. Luckily he does talk to me and the truth is that the older the man gets the lower his sex drive. I also happen to know that I have a very high sex drive myself. So we are on complete opposite sides of the spectrum. We usually have sex about once a week! Now I know as well as him that I need more than that so I bought myself some toys. Sometimes I use them when he is in another room and when he walks in and finds me masterbating he gets sooo turned on we either have sex or he gives me a hand. Now I cant say that this will work out but get creative. Every once in while wear something sexy and give him a lap dance without expecting anything in return and if you happen to have sex than great but if you dont, dont take it personally.
Another thing is that we also talked about was how im usually turned on in the morning and at night but he is turned on in the middle of the day.
And if you are not feeling confident in your own skin excercise maybe your lack of self confidence is a real turn off for him. Dont be clingy give him some space. Go out with your girls go to a spa. Nobody can like you unless you like yourself.
And If he didnt think you were sexy I dont think he will be with you!!
Keep your head up high and If all else fails, Take him to a doctor he may have ED and doesnt want to accept it

i think you should try raping him. lol. take it from him if he don't wanna give it up. Now for as the sex drive disapearing as you get older, I don't think that's true because I am 26 and my boyfriend is 29 and he hasn't changed yet plus we have been together for going on 6yrs in Dec.

This may sound like a stupid question, but how does he "turn you down". Is it a verbal thing? or a physical thing? Like... do you say "hey hunnie... you wanna..?" or do u physically try and get him turned on first? Like for me, I dont usally ask, I just kinda "do" haha If I really want it, i'll initiate it and go for it. If I'm not in the mood, it's usually best if my man just starts kissing/touching me instead of talking about it. I too, have put on a few pounds in the last few years, but trust me, thats not gonna stop him, im sure thats not the problem. Sure, I'd love to drop some weight, but I don't let it bother me in bed.

Men generally don't see a drop in testosterone until their late 30's so there may be deeper issues at work. How is your relationship faring outside of the bedroom? Do you get along or do you have any unspoken resentments that may be impacting his sex drive? Do you enjoy spending time together, and when you do, do you have things to talk about?

I am going to be perfectly honest. I see having a hard time orgasming as a challenge not a deterrant. I would say it's the fact that you put on 40 pounds. He might not find you as attractive as he used to depending on what you used to weight. I mean if you wre 120 and now you're 160 that's a heck of a jump and he most likely doesn't find you as attractive anymore. he probably is too nice of a guy to just straight up tell you that. i know i had an ex girlfriend and she gained weight and i didn't want to tell her that i didn't find her attractive anymore just because i'm too nice of a guy. but i eventually broke up with her not b/c of her weight tho. but i honestly couldn't tell you what guy doesn't want sex from the person that he suppovisly wants to be with. So something is up, either he doesn't want to be with you anymore or he doesn't find you attractive it's one of the two.

WELL FIRST OF ALL THE AGE DIFFERANCE IS NOT IT.I AM 28 AND MY HUSBAND IS 41,AND WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 10 YEARS AND OUR SEX IS STILL AS GOOD AS WHEN WE FIRST STARTED. SO I THINK YOU GUYS SHOULD TRY DIRRERENT THINGS.THE SAME OLD THING GETS BORING.