I have to laugh at Liam's tantrums because it just brings back memories!

When my kids were that age and would do the horrible meltdowns, putting them in a room by themselves didn't seem to work. So one day I tried a new tactic. When my daughter threw herself down on the floor and started kicking and screaming, I also threw myself down on the floor and started kicking and screaming. She immediately stopped her tantrum and looked at me with a very puzzled expression as if she was thinking, "What the hell is mom doing?" Haha!

But ya know what, after I did that a few times whenever she'd throw a tantrum, she stopped doing it. I guess she realized how silly she must look.

hi all... My son turned 2 in Jan. and he throws those tantrums.. My son is at the age now to where he is also a daddys boy and doesnt like to give mommy hugs nor kisses.... just like this last episode when Tori was on set... I am a huge Tori fan and watch every episode.. and trying to get her books.. but everywhere I go they seem to be sold out or not have them.... But I really want them... thanks for listening to me..
Angel Chapin

Perhaps Tori should take 15 minutes out of her obviously over booked life and play with her son. He was so obviously yearns for her attention. I love the show, but really, tonights episode was eye-opening.

OK, I KNOW HIS TAMTRUMS ARE VERY FRUSTRATING, BUT IT IS ACTUALLY HEALTHY STAGE FOR HIM, I KNOW, NOT HEALTHY FOR YOUR ANXIETY LEVEL. ONCE I VIDEOED MY SON HAVING ONE OF HIS AND HE LOOKED AT IT LIKE WOW DID I DO THAT??? BOILS DOWN TO HIM LEARNING HE CAN MAKE CHOICES ON HIS OWN AND HE IS LEARNING. HANG IN GUYS, YOU ARE GREAT PARENTS

When I see Liams tantrums I laugh too not like haha but because my life resembles that so much I have a 32 month old and a 10 month old BOTH boys!!!! and my two year old is a monster. The sad thing is it get worse before it gets better. And i know the feeling of thinking your babies are mad at you because my son did the same thing hit me and clung to daddy it hurts but soon he will be yourrs again!!!

Somebody needs to spank that kid.

Real intelligent response..give me a break. This is 2009 -- get with the real world.

When handled appropriately, there is nothing wrong with spanking. It's a perfectly acceptable form of discipline. And there's the key here - discipline, or the lack thereof. You cannot go through a child's formative years being "friends" with them. It just doesn't work. The "real world" has some major issues when it comes to child rearing and anybody who is watching reality television would know that. Tori and Dean aren't the first set of parents to be raising potentionally obnoxious children due to lack of discipline.

I have worked with children of all ages for some time now and I can say definitively that children who are raised with a soft hand all the way around end up party to our juvenile justice system in one form or another...and I think Hollywood has more than its share of examples. We can only hope that Tori and Dean will figure it out and learn how to discipline their children in some other manner than patting them on the head or walking them around because they really are adorable children.

I agree and disagree with this point of view. I definitly believe that spanking is acceptable. And I totally feel that its the parents choice. Noone really knows if they spank or not. And who cares?! Liam is so young and its natural for him to be throwing tantrums. I think they should probably looking into mimmicing him so he can see how he looks, and see if that works. I feel their doing a good job and they shouldnt have all the critics telling them how to raise their children. I know, being a mother myself, that advice is always GREAT but criticism sucks! and there;s no need. instead of focusing on how other people rasie their kids RAISE YOUR OWN! cause there are millions of undiciplined spoiled brats who dont have famous parents.

I just started watching the show, God bless you!!! you certainly have your hands full, along with your lives. I raised 3 kids along with 2 adopted. I will say this you are so adorable together, I love peeking in on your life!! liam will come around and forevever be a mamas boy! No worrys mommy!! your husband wants what?? SEX! haha I hope the day does not come when he desn't want it!! these are the best days of your life, please enjoy them. There will come a day when you miss them dearly!!! Keep up the good life!! again God bless!!

ALL 2 yr olds have tantrums. I agree with the throwing yourself on the floor. I have 5 kids (not little anymore) and I would do that when they had tantrums and they would look at me like I was nuts. But it worked. Spanking is a personal choice.I think they are doing agreat job. I love Liam he looks just like my grandson and I let him get away with anything hate to hear him cry.YOU are great parents.

If he's still having tantrums at 12 then they can spank him. He's just being a normal 2 year old and I think he's adorable.

Spanking teaches a child you respond with violence to unwanted situations, and works up a kid more, getting them more angry, versus teaching them to calm themselves down. It's a horrible thing to teach a 2-year old who is only trying to understand the world. Firmness with a child has nothing to do with physical assault, everything to do with not allowing the outburst, but with peaceful techniques like not yelling but giving firm time-outs or putting them in a quiet corner. If necessary, start taking away toys, or even remove all toys and let them earn them back. Then check back and ask them if they feel better yet. They'll learn that mood is under their control.

My parents spanked me and it taught me to try to hit them back, to hate them in that moment. It taught me to get more worked up, to cry harder, to scream. It did not teach me to learn to turn my own switches off, to calm down. It taught me frustration and anger and hate, including self-hate, self-hate that lasted a long long time and had effects in my life.

My little girl has been taught to calm herself down, first with time-outs and then removing toys if necessary, all with calm but firm voice from me. If she needs to apologize to someone after calming down, then she does. She now knows if she feels like a tantrum to go sit quietly, and I ask her calmly if she feels better yet. When she feels better, which now happens very fast, I praise her for learning to feel good inside so that she can go back to learning and playing and helping. She's learning about "mad girl" and now quickly laughs about her. She has learned young that we control how we feel inside. Spanking would not have taught her this -- it would have taught her that the world is rough and violent and reacts with aggression to her and that she should eventually react likewise because "that's what grown-ups do", and that would have made her someone different, someone with fears, someone with less to contribute to the world, and perhaps someone with problems to place upon the world when she's grown. Peaceful solutions lead to better personalities, yet peaceful does not mean lax or not being consistent.

Think about how you'd feel if a "giant grown-up" raised a hand over you, threatening you! Why would a less-understanding young child interpret that threat (and then threat-carried-out-as-physical-assault) as a positive way of learning, when all they feel in that moment is fear, fear which must be thrust back upon the parent as hate and screaming and hitting back?

Children must learn in tiny-adult amounts, and we never teach an adult with giant amounts of hitting! We'd be arrested! And don't say that "it's just a little hit, not assault" -- it's not the hit which does hurt their little bodies, it's more the fear that goes with it. In that moment you are dumping fear into their body, fear associated directly with their care-giver. Talk about confusing a child. That fear turns to other things eventually, and it is a horrible example that they will model. Children copy everything, everything we do, including hitting.

Liam is just frustrated and will learn that mood is under his control. Sign language often helps 2-yr-old outbursts a lot, because they don't have that one frustration of communication. Perhaps they should try that.

Yes! That's what I heard, that sign language helps a child who can't verbalize as well as they'd like to communicate with people.

Totally agree 1,000%.....spanking right now just isn't right....

I think Liam is just too young to be getting spanked...HE ISN'T EVEN 2 YET!

This was a much needed episode for me. We came back from our first family vacation with me in tears, wondering what was this demon that possessed my 23 month old daughter. After unpacking, I sat down to watch Tori and Dean and saw that we were not the only family going through this. I quickly dried my tears and had a good laugh. It also got me asking what are my mommy friends doing with their kids during this phase? I emailed them all and had some great advice sent my way. I now know that she is not doing this because I am a horrible parent. Though it hurts my feelings when she hits and screams at me, I know we will get through this.

"love and logic" is a parenting program online by Dr. Jim Fay. It saved our home. We bought all the CD's and listen to them together over and over. we changed so the kids changed.

no longer here

NO NO NO SPANKING, Even if it will make you feel better. Not a good idea. He will associate violence with behavior. That is an old school crap. Time outs good or maybe diversion. Usually they are bored, hungry, or tired, or just want to assert his new found independence.

Oh please - time outs? Do you realize how futile time outs are? If I had five dollars for every parent that told me their juvenile deliquent had been placed in a time out when they were a toddler I'd be living Tori and Dean's lifestyle! Time outs are a useless diversionary tactic that people who are too lazy to parent use so they can remain "friends" with their child. A person is either a parent or a friend to their child, they cannot be both.

All the don't worry, be happy, be your child's best bud stuff in place of basic disciplinary principles does not work - if it did I'd have a lot less clientele to process... And I'm sorry, flame me all you want but about the time my toddler slugged me in the face they'd get their hand slapped.

And it is not true that a child will associate discipline with violence if they are spanked, not if it is done correctly and with the accompanying explanation of why what they did was wrong - we're not talking beating a child senseless, we're talking an open handed swat on the rearend and while you may consider it old school, ironically, many parents are returning to the practice because they've realized that just about everything else hasn't worked for them.

It is obvious that Tori and Dean love their children very much but if they allow too much tantrum and not enough structure to help him work through whatever he's dealing with that that moment, they're going to have major problems on their hands when he gets older.

People confuse spanking with beating. I agree, spanking used properly doesn't cause the kid to associate violence.
A toddler who breaks free of you hand and runs into the street doesn't get an explanation or time out. But a swap with a open hand on their diapered butt - the sound of that, and the discipline giving at that exact moment makes them think - uh maybe I better not do that again. Spanking used properly does not mean that' the only form of discipline to every use.
These children who are raised with this be oh so careful form of parenting are ruined.
I've seen tons of it in my personal life. You raise them being so careful with their psyche then they don't learn how to deal and cope and solve problems to have a positive outcome. They just whine and complain and wait for someone else to fix everything for them.

From experience I can tell you 2 year olds don't get it when you take away their toys or put them in time-out! You can tell them over and over but chances are they will do it again! Spanking a kid I agree is wrong! My friend use to do things like putting a drop of hot sauce in his mouth or not letting him go outside to play, but she didn't really start doing that until her son was three! The terrible twos are really difficult and its harder when they can't tell you what they want! At my job this mother who brings in her daughter at about 6 months, started teaching her daughter baby sign language and she's really advanced in comprehension! Most of all, she can let her parents know what she wants and that takes away alot of the child's frustration! At 2 they want what they want and if they don't get it...a tantrum happens...especially when they already get what they want from their parents! This isn't the first time Dean has gone through this, I think if Tori will calm down and not take it so personal Liam will be fine! He'll grow out of it and if he's not way spoiled be a good kid!

Someone needs to break it to Tori, and remind Dean, that the terrible twos isn't because they are two years old - it's because IT LASTS TWO YEARS!!! It starts at about one and a half and goes until they are about three and a half... Sorry for the reality check