Life is too short to spend it being mad at someone. I hope you've already seen her by now.

It doesn't matter if Dean gives you his blessing or not.

Go make peace with your mother and your brother and give your kids a chance at having family.

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NO! Tori's precious years with the little ones is fleeting. Those who have fed off of her eneriges detest the fact that she is REALLY happy now. This interference from the birth family is causing her emotional pain. She has to focus on this new family she has created and not let anyone or anything damage her blessed moments. Go listen to this song and think about what they say:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLLEBAQLZ3Q
I was a school teacher and quit working to stay home and drink in the joy and sacred moments with my three children. I knew that it would be fleeting and it was. Those of my birth family, who have treated me as Tori's has treated her, were furious at my joy. I didn't let them stop me. Now my kids are grown and I can tell you that nothing in life can ever touch the joy of the times with your young children.