I am a step
mother, he sees me as his mama. His mother left him at 1 1/2 and his father and I began dating when he was 2. Ever since then I have been Mama with his bio-mother coming in and out of his life. He is now 16 and his bio-mother has not contacted him in about 3 years for his birthday, Christmas or any other important event. That doesn't change the fact that he is wonders everyday why won't she have anything to do with me and what can I do to help her? Yes, he loves me and we have a pretty good relationship (teenager) yet he will always want his mother's love no matter what. Dean is right, it is so hard to get your head around this as a parent and can't understand. Now, that being said. Tori you need to know that you have done the right thing. Me, I offered the (ex-wife) mother of my step children to spend the night with us on Christmas eve for our children. So Tori, you need to keep doing the right thing weather she extends her hand or not you know in your heart of hearts that you have done the right thing. The past is the past - can't be changed - emotions can't be deleted. I am not sure of your faith - pray for you to be able to foregive and forget. Until that is done you will not be able to grow. See I have been dealing with some major issues in my life and once I was true to myself and asked my Lord to step in and take over the road I was going down was doing nothing but destorying my family. Now, my status hasn't changed yet I am at peace and getting back to that strong wife, mother and woman that I have always been. Not have money to provide my children with back to school supplies, being able to meet all of my bills each month or other issues that come up will get better in time. Letting my family fall apart because due to this is not going to happen and I have changed a lot of things. My husband and boys are wondering if I am going through the change or something, but it is just my love for my family for the changes. So, you have to be at peace knowing that you have made that effort and go from there. When or it she shows up just pick up from your last good moment and enjoy one another while it is good. Yes, everyone will feel that stress - go to next room take a shot of liquor and keep going. It will not do your children any good if there is stress because they will know it. Yes, my son asked me one day why my daddy didn't like my mother-in-law? No, they don't get alone or speak, but without anything being said at all my 5year old knew that so . . . Dean - great job on that vacation. My husband and I use to do that once a year and I deeply miss that one weekend of being a couple only. That is just a energy weekend so that you can handle the rest of the year! Good luck and I am sorry I wrote so much - I do hope that tori and dean read this and gain some insight.