Hang in there.

I have the exact same relationship you having with your mom, I am having with
my identical twin sister. My identical twin sister says she loves me but it
instead she wants to cause me grief and hard ache.

Don't get mad at Dean, but I also understand where he is coming from because I am also tired on being on the same merry go round with my identical twin sister.

It is tough because you want your kids to know their grandmother but if she is not going to cooperate with you, well, you are going to get upset again and
the kids will not understand what is going on with you until they are OLDER.