This may sound odd; but I haven't had sex in nearly 4 years (since my wife divorced me).
My concern is that every time I think I may even remotely have a shot at getting laid, I get a sense of "performance anxiety". Mainly because it's been so long, I know that I won't be able to last a long time - what can I do to get over this fear and hopefully find myself in a relationship sometime in the foreseeable future?

There are probably deeper self-esteem issues that need to be worked out, too- any advice anyone? Prefer female advice - men are almost always assholes and say "get over it and get a hooker"

Drinking may help or drugs.

Experience With A Close Female Friend You Know & Can Trust.

None of my female friends that I trust enough want to sleep with me (I've asked)

I hear some men pre- pleasure themselves to make it last longer... But if you really trust and feel comfortable with the woman and she likes YOU, then I dont think she will care if you dont last long. There are other ways to please her if you go faster then you/she wants... Hope this helps

If she is a woman worth being with then she will understand. Try making her have an orgasm or two using other forms of stimulation then when you are ready for intercourse she will be okay with you finishing quicker because she will already be tired.

Your correct in your assumption that self-esteem is the problem. When I first met my boyfriend, who had been divorced, he also had a hard time staying errect when we first had sex. We talked about what was going on with him, mentally, and within our third time making love he felt comfortable enough to keep his erection and orgasm. Now, two years later, we have an excellent sex life together! The key is communication even when you feel uncomfortable or even embarrassed with your partner. If he or she can't deal with that then he or she just saved you from waisting your time. I know this reply's a few months later than when you first posted your question but I hope that it can help your situation in any way.

Kris,
Thanks for the reply! I think it (self-esteem) is affecting me in how i deal with women altogether. I've become convinced that women aren't attracted to me (although I have female friends that say "any woman would be lucky to be with me") - so, I don't ask women out to spare myself any rejection or wasted time. If ANY woman would "be lucky" to be with me, why do I have a hard time getting dates and why would me female friends not want to date me?